DISASTERVILLE

Ask the Girl Disaster

Tucked into the corner of some tiny, teeny room under stringy balconies of cobwebs and moth silk is a girl in a tartan gown with daisies tucked in her hair. Sure she may be covered in bruises, she may not have a PhD. She can read a mean tarot card, but really… she isn’t much of a psychic. She may be young, a girl disaster, but she may have the answers you so desperately seek. So send her a love letter over the spider (world wide) web sent by an electric shock firefly charge. Type your questions in the keys. Anonymous or named, with problems big or small, ask the girl disaster and let her whip up a solution that is guaranteed to work better than the competitor’s magic fix-all pixie dust!

Want my advice on life, love, fashion, art, friends… anything?! Send your questions to:

dayna @ daynadesastre . com
dayna @ daynadesastre . com
dayna @ daynadesastre . com
dayna @ daynadesastre . com
dayna @ daynadesastre . com
dayna @ daynadesastre . com

2 comments August 19th, 2008

Find Your Smackers Identity

Almost every little girl I know has a thing for Smackers Lip Balm… for many of us it was our first real cosmetic product! And go on, admit it, you still love Smackers today, don’t you? (I know I do!) It may be the bright colored tubes or the fantastic flavors (come on, how can you beat pink vanilla frosting?!) or the way it makes lips utterly smooth and soft, but Smackers, like dollhouses, fairytales and Hello Kitty, is just one of those childhood favorites that is impossible to give up!

Miss Strawberry, decked in head to toe pleather and studs, grabs her hot pink bass guitar and takes to the stage. After covering “Crimson and Clover”, she plays her own hit song “Lady Lush”, the audience swooning over her mile-long legs and berry red hair. As her band closes down a remarkable set that included a gangly boy resembling Iggy Pop jumping on stage and stealing the mic, she takes off her metallic silver top hat and bows for her adoring fans. Back at home (a teeny tiny studio apartment) Miss Strawberry relaxes on the sofa, watching re-runs of Friends, drinking champagne from a tea cup and stroking her pet Persian kitten!

Behind the counter at your favorite candy shoppe sits Miss Bubble Gum, glitter gracing her cheeks, her hair tied in pig tails. As she daydreams, she nibbles at the candy necklace around her neck. After helping a group of children decide between ten different flavors of Dum Dum pops, she picks up a Ring Pop for herself and begins to rearrange the chocolate bunny display, giving each little candy animal a name. As her shift nears an end, her boyfriend, a soft-spoken preschool teacher, picks her up on a bicycle built for two and they speed home to their cottage near the beach, a sugar-coated place full of fresh cookies, labrador puppies and and thrift store baby dolls.

Berry Blue Jello will admit it: she is a party girl. Her days usually pass as follows: the mornings are dedicated to some well deserved beauty sleep, the afternoons are spent getting all dolled up in designer threads, and the evenings? Oh thats when the fun begins! Hitting the clubs, the dance floor, crashing a wedding, Miss Berry Blue is always the center of attention. Its not like she has to try too hard either, there is a sparkle in her eye that says “I live life to it’s fullest!” and a fire in her heart that screams “I will be myself no matter what!”

Looking at her, you would never guess that Miss Vanilla still has a passion for playing dress up in her Mother’s clothes. She is of the sophisticated sort, the pencil skirt and glasses kind, the “Nietzche over a cup of tea” type. When she isn’t eyeing Indian artifacts at the Natural History museum or people watching at the bookstore, you can usually find her hiding away in her high rise apartment watching Cartoon Network, painting her toe nails bright green and coloring in the pages of her Taro Gomi coloring book. If you ever caught her, she’d beg you to not tell her co-workers, “they’re just stiff business types”. But they’ve all seen the Ronald Dahl books peeking out of her desk drawer, her stapler shaped like a hippopotamus, and really, they love her more for her child-like antics.

When she was was ten years old, Watermelon shaved her head, and has been donning a short, short pixie cut ever since. Wearing a silver cocktail dress and matching ballet flats, she looks like a raven-haired Tinker Bell with a diamond stud in her nose. When she isn’t sorting through science fiction novels at the library, catching silent films at the vintage movie theatre, or perfecting her Donald Duck voice, Watermelon enjoys dancing around her bedroom to old Madonna records in just her undies and a pair of socks. Every afternoon, she visits her girlfriend, a menswear-loving librarian with long, wavy locks, at the local diner and they gossip about celebrity magazines over a plate of curly fries.

As she sits on her bed, thumbing through clippings from magazines full of stars, models and babies, Crush admits that she is perpetually in love. Although she has never gotten past the first date, and has never experienced that epic first kiss, she knows that one day her Prince Charming will come to sweep her off of her feet. Crush has always, and will always, believe in fairy tales: she has shelves full of folklore from all different nations, stacks of Disney princess dvds and boxes upon boxes of her own poetry and prose. Her walls are lined in dried roses, fairy figurines, miniature carousel horses and skeleton keys. As bits of glitter and glue stick to her tiny, bitten nails, she holds up her completed masterpiece: a college made from magazines full of stars, models and babies showing a picture perfect portrait of the man she will one day love.

Miss Disaster is a sucker for three things: rock music, art and Dr. Pepper. As she bakes cupcakes and ices cookies at her job in a bakery, she day dreams about her lover, the Boy Fiasco, a constant mix tape of folk punk and foxcore playing in her head. She is a photographer and strives to capture images of light and beauty and terror and whimsy on film. Her hair is often tangled in bramble-like curls and her toenails are painted bright gold. At night she writes in her blog hoping to inspire love, beauty, truth, peace and happiness in all the girls and boys who stumble upon Disasterville, her little home on the web!

Even as we grow older, all of us have a childlike side to us, starry-eyed and vibrant. And while each of us displays this innocence in different ways, it is always there, a sparkle in our eyes, an attitude that says “even when I am grey and old I will always dream and wish and love!” Just like our love of Smackers lip balm, this childlike nature will always be a mainstay in our personalities, helping us see the lighter, magical, lovely side of things. So darlings…

What flavor of Smackers best suits you?

4 comments August 19th, 2008

Where Are All The Posts?

You may be wondering where all the Disasterville posts and pages went… or you may have realized that clicking many Disasterville links takes you to a not-so-lovely “this page could not be found” screen. Due to an odd combination of Wordpress-error and my forgetfulness at backing up the website, all of the posts have been deleted. Oops. Thankfully, I have cached-versions of each post, and will be putting up new and improved versions of these articles throughout the week. This is defiantly not the news I was wishing to bring you, and is defiantly another set back, but thankfully it was not as terrible a problem as I originally thought.

Oh, and now that both the girl disaster and Disasterville have recovered, I have a few little questions to ask you, my darling friends:

1. Should we have a new layout? If we do, what colors are your favorites?
2. Weekly themes - yay or nay?

Thanks for your patience, understanding and love. I’ll be back tonight with some (good) news and a post or two.

12 comments August 18th, 2008

Ask the Girl Disaster

Find Your Smackers Identity

Where Are All The Posts?

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